You Just Know When You Know!

"You just know when you know." What could I be talking about? That one when others share their love stories about meeting at X, Y and Z. "Ever since then we've been together and I just knew!" Love happens and it's great. It's wonderful! It's what makes life so precious. You want to spend your life with that someone who brightens your day and experience joys and troubles together. 

What troubles me, is the saying that I've heard from friends, family, movies, songs, etc. "You just know when you know." I can't help but chuckle in disbelief that this can happen. Of course, experiences bring about disbelief of all sorts, including religious terms {which is even a big one for me}.Experiences can change a person's way of living so they won't make the same mistake twice. Though, how can you protect yourself if you have no idea how to control a situation in the first place?

I find it a bit ironic that the organization I work for has a couple mottos for investment fraud, but can easily be relatable for other experiences life brings along. "If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is," and "Education is protection." If a relationship, for me at least, seems too good to be true, something WILL happen. This term has been proven several times thus far. You learn through experiences so, like I said above, you can protect yourself and will be aware to not make the same mistake again. In order to protect myself from this "mistake" is to stay content with myself and only myself. In no way was this situation under any of my control, but the effects took over and I'm continuing to fight a battle with my emotions. If there was a way to just completely let go, I would have by now. 

I've been through break ups on both ends. I know how it feels to be almost relieved that the relationship was ending and you wouldn't have to worry about "dealing" with the person again. I've also experienced that first a break in a relationship, which caused depression for over a month until I was able to start putting my pieces back together and rebuilding myself. This time, it's different. I was crushed. I was depressed. I found my anxiety and it happened very very quickly. 

I went to my friends and family for support and guidance, but I didn't really listen to their advice. They suggested for me to take "me" time to start being happy with myself in order to start moving on. Well, I never lost happiness with myself. They also suggested to make sure you also make time for things that make you happy. So, I took that ball and ran with it... possibly in the wrong direction, they'd say. 

I doubt I will ever spill the beans about what exactly happened for this relationship to end, but one thing that made me happy the most was continuing to spend time with the one who has made me the happiest. It might not be the right thing to do, but there has to be a reason we both feel like we can't let go. There's a reason why I honestly feel like there's a brick wall that I can't even climb over. Maybe I try to attempt climbing a few steps to the top, but I just stumble back to the ground. Repeatedly, I've said this quote in the back of my mind, "My worst battle: what I know vs. what I feel." 

Back to my original topic, "you just know when you know." No. You don't. You think you do. Some cases, the relationship will turn out in the couple's favor and have a happily ever after, but the odds for me to ever trust my heart again, to know when I've found "the one," could be an opportunity I might not be able to recognize or let the man change my life due to recent experiences. You just never know.

{Thanks, Pinterest}

Hopefully the next post will be a bit more uplifting on the positive note. Until then, just keep on keepin' on!



Popular Posts